she says the darnedest things

Just because it's been awhile since I've posted any "Natalieisms" doesn't mean she hasn't been saying them.  In fact, over the last few weeks she's had some doozies.  

My child has no filter, as they say.  None whatsoever.  Whatever she's thinking in any given moment is exactly what comes out her mouth.  Now it's funny.  Someday it won't be, so we're trying to talk about kindness and good manners and all those important things.  I'm not sure it's really getting through yet.

Still, you may get a chuckle out of some of the things she's popped off with lately.  

The first one comes from our annual end-of-the-year picnic for the homeschool co-op.  One of the older boys had a mohawk.  Natalie had never seen a mohawk before, so naturally she commented on it.  Specifically, she told him he had "squirrel hair."  Thankfully, both the boy and his mother found this hilarious.  

The next incident came at a church brunch as I sat chatting with one of the ladies.  A lady who just happened to have white hair.  Natalie said her hair was old.  Not the lady herself, mind you--her hair.  

Since we're baby-sitting a baby boy during the day now, we have baby boy diaper changes.  And yes, Natalie has noticed the difference in baby boy parts as opposed to baby girl parts.  She asked, "What's that purple thing on his bottom?"  As I explained the difference between boys and girls, she said, "So it just popped out?  Like a belly button?"  

Yeah, sure.  Just like that.  

Of course, when Sarah first saw a little boy getting a diaper change at my parents' house, she asked why he had a tail on his bottom.  ;)  

We're working on that filter, really.  But in the meantime, if you know us personally and Natalie pops off with something in your presence, please don't take it to heart.  :-p  

p.s. to yesterday's post

Yesterday I posted a review of The Christian Parenting Handbook.  Check it out if you haven't read it yet.  If you decide to purchase the book at a local Christian bookstore, you can print the form found here to take with you and get some special free bonuses.  These bonuses are valued at $400, so it's definitely a good deal. 

If you don't have a Christian bookstore near you, the link also provides an online retailer who can honor this promotion.  You won't miss out. 

This offer is valid May 10-11, 2013.  So time is definitely of the essence!  :)

review: the Christian Parenting Handbook

My basic parenting philosophy is probably best summarized by a quote I found on the internet years ago:  "There is no way to be a perfect parent.  There are a thousand ways to be a good one."  Basically, I see a whole lot of freedom and flexibility in this whole parenting gig.  What works for me may not work for you, and I don't see any problem with that.  Parents are all different, children are all different, families and circumstances are all different.  My biggest pet peeve in the world of parenting books is probably any cookie cutter or "by the book" approach, where certain steps guarantee a certain result.  Sorry, I think as human beings we're all a bit more complex than that.
 
That said, I like parenting books, and I like having a variety of parenting resources from which to pull ideas.  There is a whole lot of wisdom out there, from people who know a whole lot more than I do.  I received a copy of The Christian Parenting Handbook by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller to review, and I was excited to read it.

Parenting books tend to fall into one of two extremes: highly theoretical or extremely practical.  The theoretical ones put so much time and explanation into the overarching philosophy that it can sometimes be difficult to even imagine how to make it work in practice.  How does it work in the real world?  However, sometimes the immensely practical are so caught up in giving you specific steps to follow or situations to apply that you don't have any long term goals and you lose all ability to think outside the box.  Plus, they can lead to frustration if you follow the "steps" and it doesn't "work."

My favorite parenting books are always the ones that find a balance between these two extremes.  Yes, give me the "big picture."  Let me understand the principles so that I can creatively apply them to my own circumstances.  But also help me out with a few practical suggestions or ideas, just to get the ball rolling.

The Christian Parenting Handbook strikes me as leaning more to the theoretical, but it in no way neglects the practical.  Overall, I think it strikes a pretty good balance.  I plan to go back and read through it more slowly when I'm not on a deadline (paying attention to the places I highlighted especially), but I am pleased with the book and I do recommend it.

I think probably my two favorite parts of the book (at first reading anyway; I reserve the right to change my mind) are the sections on consistency and on tasks vs. problems vs. conflict.  Why?  I'm so glad you asked.  ;)

Consistency is the holy grail of parenting in almost every parenting book out.  "You must be consistent!" may as well have been thundered down from Sinai given its prominence.  And for those of us who are fallible human parents (ahem), it can seem daunting at times.  If you aren't consistent 100% of the time (and let's be honest--no one is consistent 100% of the time), you can feel enormously guilty.  Clearly it's your fault that your child is still having a problem with XYZ.  If only you were more consistent!

But this book rightly points out that our children are not Pavlov's dogs.  "Consistency" is a very behaviorist approach to child rearing.  Is it important?  Sure.  We all know that.  But is it the be-all end-all of the world?  Not so much.  I won't summarize the whole chapter here (after all, I think my job is to make you want to buy the book!), but I will tell you I found it very freeing.

I also appreciated the chapter on the difference between tasks, problems, and conflict.  Ever have one of those days where every task feels like a problem, and every problem feels like a conflict?  Nah, me neither.  Clearly this chapter was written for someone else.  But if you run into that someone else, here's what you can tell them.  Tasks are the basic to-do lists of your day.  Wake up.  Make coffee.  Get children dressed.  Teach children obedience and godliness and basic addition.  Etc.  Problems are the things that are preventing tasks from being completed.  You're out of coffee.  The kids can't find their shoes (that's never happened here).  They also can't remember basic addition, and they're not too interested in obeying.  You know--problems.

Our job as parent is come up with ways to ratchet the problems back down to tasks--not escalate them into conflict.  Yep--that's on us.  How I do that may differ from how you do that.  It may involve consequences and discipline and training, but those things are tasks when are parents--part of our basic job description.  Maybe it's just a mental shift, but viewing problems as a thing I need to get back down to a task does seem to help with it not becoming a big conflict. 

So, yes, I do recommend this book as a worthwhile read. 

The book is available in both paperback and Kindle edition on Amazon. I believe Christianbook.com has it as well.

I'm still here

No, I'm not dead.  :) And yes, tomorrow I will be posting the review of the parenting book.  It's selling like hot cakes apparently, so I'm glad I got to review an early copy. 

We're very busy here, trying to wrap up our school year.  We've had several end-of-the-school-year socials--picnics and parties and such.  We got Sarah glasses, and we celebrated Nelson's birthday.  And...I started a part-time job, of sorts.  I'm caring for the infant of a friend of mine.  She brings him over in the morning, and he hangs out with us during the day while his mother works.  He's an adorable baby (aren't they all?), and he's very sweet, laid back, and content (knocking on wood).  Sarah and Natalie are referring to him as a "part-time baby brother."  Since he's not my child, I won't violate privacy by sharing his name.  I'll try to think of a clever internet nickname for him, but for now I'll just call him Baby Boy.  So if he shows up in future stories, no, I didn't sneak off and have a baby while you weren't looking.  ;)

But those who know just how tight our finances have been can guess what a huge blessing this is and how much an answer to prayer.  Besides, I think I said when I was six years old that I would follow in my mother's footsteps one day; it's about time I made good on that. 

Book review coming tomorrow! 

I don't get it...

Yesterday I found this chart.  It gives the average cost of food for families in Feb. 2013.  It divides those costs into four levels: a thrifty plan, a low-cost plan, a moderate plan, and a liberal plan. 

I've been working for a long time to try to lower our grocery budget.  The more I plan ahead (and have backup plans), the better I do.  Some weeks are better than others.  But I continue to track and try to see if I can't make the best possible use of our somewhat limited resources. 

But according to this chart, a "thrifty" plan for my family is spending $135.60 a WEEK on groceries.  That's almost $588 a month!  We usually range between $325-450 (depending on how well I'm doing any particular month).  I have never spent $588 on groceries.

And this is the thrifty plan??? 

I do realize that these are averages and that food costs can vary widely according to the region of the county in which a family lives.  I'm no doubt sheltered by the low cost of living that exists here and our relatively low food prices compared to many other parts of the country.

But.  New England isn't exactly known for being cheap.  Amy Dacyczyn, author of The Tightwad Gazette, ran across the USDA's chart back in the mid-90s (when the Gazette was still in publication).  And she shared this rather humorous anecdote: she immediately sat down to figure up what she spent on food for her family of eight.  To her dismay, she ended up in the "low cost" bracket.  She moped around for days, wondering how she, as a writer and publisher of a frugal living newsletter, could have missed falling into the thrifty bracket--or even below it. 

Finally, one of her assistants decided to check her math.  The assistant promptly burst out laughing upon realizing Dacyczyn's error.  Dacyczyn had totaled up her monthly grocery bills.  The USDA chart was listing weekly totals. 

Yeah.  Dacyczyn spent less in a month than the low-cost plan allotted for a week. 

So it's not just me wondering what the heck is up with these charts.

To present another side, a blogger I read spent over $800 a month in 2012 for her family of five.  But she was buying all organic, grass-fed meat, raw dairy, and gluten-free grains.  So her family's special diet definitely figured into the higher costs.

So I'll open it up for discussion: does your spending fall within these parameters pretty neatly?  Do you think the numbers are fairly accurate? 

treasure hunting

While doing some cleaning/straightening, I found an old issue of Whole Living magazine.  I mean Dec. 2011 old.  I had gotten a free subscription and then never renewed when it ran out.  I enjoyed the magazine's emphasis on natural living, emotional and spiritual well-being, and whole foods.  But...it was a little too "hippie" for my tastes, so I didn't renew when it came time to have to actually pay for it.  I might love yoga and try to buy organic as much as I'm able, but I'm not full-on flower child yet.  ;)

I miss it sometimes though.  It had some good tips from time to time.  So when I found the issue today, I read it even though it was out of date...because it wasn't really out of date.  I saved an article on some migraine remedies to try (most of it just reaffirmed what I already knew or was already doing, but I'm always willing to learn more and try something else).  I saved another one on a home spa technique that looks intriguing.  Another article gave natural remedies to treat or prevent cold and flu--again, most of it is stuff I already know, but reminders don't hurt. 

I had honestly forgotten how much I liked the magazine overall.  Now I'm wondering if I could manage to score another free subscription somewhere.  ;) 

I'm also wondering what other lost treasure I might unearth while cleaning. 

my brain is Swiss cheese...

Seriously.  I had a post in mind to come here and write today.  Now it's gone.  Clearly it fell out of one of the holes in my head.  :-p 

Soon, though, I'll have a review to post here.  I received an e-book to review, so I'll be reading it and writing about it soon. It's called The Christian Parenting Handbook, so I'm really excited to be looking over it and sharing my thoughts.  If you decide this book is exactly what you've been wanting or needing, wait until the week of Apr. 29-May 5; they're giving away lots of free stuff with purchase then.  Around $400 in free parenting resources I'm told, so definitely worth the wait.  ;)  I promise to have it reviewed by then! 

In other news, Sarah finds her science book fascinating; it currently deals with astronomy.  Who doesn't love astronomy?  She is also loving the art curriculum my dad got for her.  And I will confess to feeling slightly super mom-ish as I cooked and worked with her on grammar at the same time today.  I don't feel anything close to super mom-ish often, so it's worth noting.  ;) 

Maybe later I'll remember what I actually meant to blog about tonight.  Here's hoping.  Or maybe you're better off that I've forgotten; who knows?  :-p